If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen

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MONKEY BUSINESS: Justin Bieber smiles with his long lost best friend and pet monkey Mallie at The Roast of Justin Bieber on Comedy Central on March 31,2015.

Gianna Floria, Staff Writer

Just in time for his birthday, comedy and celebrity legends gathered to take part in The Roast of Justin Bieber, which premiered on Comedy Central on March 31, 2015.

With an all-star line up, Bieber was in store for quite the roast. The “roastmaster” or host of the special was Kevin Hart, along Chris D’Elia, Pete Davidson, Natasha Leggero, Jeff Ross, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Shaquille O’Neal, Hannibal Buress, and Martha Stewart.

Hearing that Stewart would roast Bieber makes a person become a little skeptical of the show and how funny it will actually be, considering Stewart is a 73-year-old business woman who sells kitchen appliances and bedroom linens. However, she stole the show with prison tips for Bieber when he has to do time, making her become a true standout.

“When I first heard about the people who were going to be at the show, I thought is was weird that Martha Stewart was there. All the other celebrities were friends or idols of Justin Bieber so I had my doubts, but she won my heart when she mentioned how Justin would never last a day in jail and went into full description on how to make a shank,” says junior Nicole Anash.

Each celebrity had their swing at Beiber, talking mainly about the minor crimes he has committed and his “lesbian hair cut”.  Toward the end of the show, there was a surprise visit from (SPOILER ALERT) Will Ferrel as the infamous Ron Burgundy from the movie “Anchorman”, who, with a glass of scotch, very loudly pointed out how everyone was wrong and that Bieber was “doing it right” with all the crimes he committed.

The line up not only called out Bieber, but also the other celebrities sitting on stage, as well as the ones sitting in the crowd. The two hour special was filled with hilarious jokes that left my sides hurting from laughter (unfortunately, no abs, just laughter).

“I really don’t like Justin Bieber, so I was excited to see what everyone had to say about him and I couldn’t stop laughing the whole night,” says junior Michaela McLaughlin.

Bieber volunteered himself to be the topic of the Comedy Central hit and throughout the show, one wondered why anyone would do that to themselves. Bieber ended the show with with his own roast on the whole line up, getting his revenge and actually cracking some of the funniest jokes of the whole show. After he finished, he also added a small confession, saying that he actually is sorry for the things he has done in the past and that from this he wants to become a better man and role model.

He finished with his final joke, saying, “What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”

If you had the chance, what would you say to “the Biebs”?

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